What needs to be done
by Sam Pembroke
Summary: Emily is being taken to the psychiatric hospital. She wants Rose to be there for her. Will she do it? Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE

SAM PEMBROKE

CHAPTER ONE

WHY?

The day dawned particularly rainy. Inside their grandparents home, Rose and Emily stirred awake. Rose stood up from her bed and looked out the window. Everything was wet and the rain kept coming down at a good clip.

"_Too wet to go outside today. Guess we'll have to stay indoors."_ Rose thought to herself. Suddenly, she heard shouting from across the hall. These shouts seemed to be in anguish. The next thing she heard seemed to be her mother trying to calm down the shouting, but the shouting continued. Rose walked over to the door and listened.

"_That's Emily. What's going on with her?" _Rose thought again.

"You don't love me! You never have! You simply gave me away. You never thought anything about it." Said Emily.

"I didn't give you away Emily! I simply wasn't psychologically able to raise both of you!" Ruth shouted back.

"She's having one of her tantrums again." Rose said to herself. Rose then found herself sitting back on the bed listening all the while.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital Emily? Is that what you want?"

"No! You can't take me to daddy's hospital!" Emily screamed.

"But I will Emily. I can't have you doing this. Not here." Ruth said in a terse manner.

"Do what you want with me. Since you don't love me."

Rose couldn't bear to hear this. She wanted to march in there and give Emily a peace of her mind. She also wondered what her mother was going through at this point. To Rose, Emily's disastrous mood swings disrupted her little world.

A world that was at peace.

Breakfast that same morning was tense. You could cut it with a knife, that's how tense things were. Emily merely picked at her food. Edith, who had been sitting at the table while the commotion had been going on spoke up.

"What do you plan on doing with her?" She obviously meant Emily.

"I'm taking her to Broadacres. I feel that this is beyond my control. She thinks I don't love her." Ruth said, still rather tense from the goings on minutes prior.

"Obviously she needs medication. Those mood swings will get her into serious trouble. How will the other girls react if she does this at school? I do believe the term will be starting soon." Edith said coolly.

"Mother, she's on medication. I don't know where she gets the idea that I do not love her, but it distresses me." Ruth said.

Emily, who'd been sitting there at the table rolled her eyes. It bothered her that they were talking about her. She wanted it to stop.

"Don't talk about while I'm here. I'd like to be excused from the table." Emily said in great anger.

"Young lady, you are being discussed. You may not leave the table. You have misbehaved, and you are going to be punished for it. I think a psychiatric facility will be a good temporary place for you." Edith replied.

"Mother." Ruth pleaded.

"Ruth, you will take Emily to Broadacres. Maybe they can shock treat her or something. No proper young lady would ever do as you have done."

"No. I won't have them shock her. She's too delicate." Ruth uttered.

Rose, who had also been sitting enjoying breakfast looked with pleading eyes to her mother. Suddenly, she began to speak.

"I don't think Emily is a bad child. She just needs help. That's all." Rose said as she picked up her toast.

"Rose dear, this doesn't concern you." Ruth quietly said.

"She's my sister isn't she?" Rose replied.

She had a point there. The rest of breakfast went by quietly. Finally, Ruth told Emily to get her pea coat.

"You're taking me to daddy's hospital?" Emily asked in a hurt tone. Ruth simply nodded and Emily did as she was told. She put on the dark blue pea coat and opened the door. Tears were streaming down her face as she did so. It was a few minutes before Ruth joined her on the front porch. When she did so, Emily took her by the hand.

"Do we really have to do this Mrs. Bukater?" Emily asked, struggling with her tears.

"I'm afraid so Emily. You know I love you. I just wish it didn't have to come to this." Ruth replied.

"But I don't want to go. Mama will be so cross with me if she finds out that I've been in Broadacres." Emily pouted.

"Emily, she's your mother. She has every right to know that you're there. She has cared for you during the past thirteen years." Ruth said coolly.

"I just wish you could have done it. I wish I was never even born." Emily continued.

"Don't say that Emily. You don't know what it's like to lose a child." Ruth said. Her features began to droop.

Emily thought about what Ruth was going to say next and she sat down on a chair.

"Before you were born, I had a daughter named Alice. Alice was my world. I loved her. She loved me. I thought she could beat the illness. I thought she was a fighter. Pneumonia claimed such an innocent child from me. I felt like I couldn't go on Emily. Her death drained me emotionally and psychologically. When I gave birth to you and Rose, I knew an old friend from school who had been trying to get pregnant." Ruth said trying not to get choked up.

"That's why I went to live with her? It wasn't because you didn't want me?"

"Not at all. Come on Emily, let's go to Broadacres. The sooner you get help, the better it will be for you. Heaven forbid you have a mood swing at school. What will Ms. Allen say about that?" Ruth said.

Emily pondered a moment and replied; "She'd send me to my room. They would be so ever cross with me if that would happen."

Ruth got up from her chair. Emily did the same. Ruth kissed her on the forehead and they walked down the front walk.

Emily's journey had just begun.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

READJUSTMENT

The rain continued to fall as Ruth and Emily walked into the admissions area of Broadacres. Ruth shook the umbrella as she closed it, causing water to spill onto the marble floor.

"We're really here?" Emily asked in a weak attempt to cover up her sadness.

"Yes dear. We're really here. We're going to walk over to the small window and get you checked in." Ruth had said.

They walked over to a window of sliding glass. The nurse behind the window reached up and slid the glass down.

"Are you a new patient? Are you her mother? I need you to fill out these papers, return the clipboard and papers when finished." The nurse said in a monotonous voice. Ruth took the clipboard over to the waiting area. Emily followed. The chairs in the waiting room were neither comfortable or attractive looking, but they fulfilled their duty. In one corner of the room there was a small play area for toddlers and babies.

"That's sad." Emily said quietly.

"What's sad dear?" Ruth asked, intrigued by Emily's comment.

"That small children have to come here. They shouldn't have to experience the pain of mental illness." Emily replied.

Ruth was finished with the paperwork and she walked back to the sliding glass window. The nurse took the clipboard from her. Suddenly the nurses eyes grew big.

"Emily Langdon? Is she Dr. Langdon's daughter? If that's the case, then there will be no wait time. Dr. Langdon is free." The nurse said nervously. Ruth just looked at her and went back to gather Emily.

"Come on Emily, they're ready for us." Ruth uttered. She could see the hesitation in Emily's eyes; her deep blue eyes. They were so much like Rose's it was unreal. They walked down a rather long corridor to a rather large office. This office was completely furnished with animal heads on the walls. Among the heads were countless plaques. His diplomas were also there; adding to the officiousness of everything. The desk was also huge.

"_Typical of daddy." _Emily thought to herself.

" Welcome, sit down. Mrs. Bukater, what seems to be the issue?" Dr. Langdon asked.

"Emily had a mood swing this morning that was unlike any I've encountered in my experience with her." Ruth said blankly.

"I'm sorry daddy. I didn't mean it. Please don't be angry with me." Emily desperately spat out.

Dr. Langdon thought about it for a moment or two, and then replied.

"Why would I be angry with you pumpkin? You just had a slip up, that's all. After all, you're only human Emily. I cannot get angry with that." He said.

The scene was quiet, but tense. Ruth went on and on describing Emily's tantrum that morning, and how Edith wanted Emily to come here. She even brought up Rose.

"How has this affected Rose and Elizabeth?" He asked.

"Only Rose knows that Emily is here. Elizabeth doesn't know. It would scare Elizabeth to know that Emily was here." Ruth said in reply.

The conversation dragged until a nurse came in with blue hospital clothes. Emily took off her pea coat and handed it to Ruth.

"No no, honey. I can't take this. You have to keep it with you." Ruth said as she handed the coat back.

The nurse came and took Emily away. Emily looked back at Ruth who was shaken.

"I love you Mrs. Bukater." Emily said as she turned to leave. As the door shut, Ruth broke down into tears. The sobs were long and even. Her cries were of anguish. She didn't want to be separated from her daughter. Dr. Langdon saw this and handed Ruth a box of Kleenex. She blew her nose, but continued to cry.

"How long is she going to be here? School starts in two weeks." Ruth sobbed.

"The average stay is three to five days. Don't worry Ruth, everything will be fine."

"Will you tell Victoria?" Ruth asked, choking back sobs.

"I will have to tell her. What can we do for you Ruth? The Langdon family would like to help you."

"Just make sure my little girl doesn't get into trouble. She loves to draw. Give her a big sketchpad like you did for me all those years ago. I think she needs to channel the energy she has."

Ruth got up from her chair, but not before Dr. Langdon issued a final comment.

"I will do that for her Ruth. You can trust me. I love her as much as you do. I will do everything in my power to protect her from the other adolescents in the ward."

Ruth walked down the corridor and back through the waiting room. Outside, it was still raining. Ruth silently walked through the rain. She boarded the train to take her back across the river.

"_It's time for Emily's readjustment." _Ruth thought to herself as she took her seat.

What a readjustment it will be for Emily.


	3. Chapter 3

_CHAPTER THREE_

_DR. LANGDON_

_Dr. Langdon, the head psychiatrist at Broadacres Children's Psychiatric Institute; had worked there since 1883. One of his first patients was a young lady by the name of Ruth DeWitt. He rescued Ruth from the clutches of the hospital's previous doctor: Howard Ilivicki. Ilivicki ogled the female adolescent patients, and simply neglected the male ones. It was Ruth's first electro-shock treatment that John Langdon witnessed. He thought it to be barbaric and crude. It pained him to see the young thirteen year old going through the pain and trauma of the treatment. Instead of electro-shock treatment, he wanted to focus on creativity. He gave Ruth a large sketchpad and told her to draw out what she was feeling. Ruth took to this much better than the shock treatment. She loved to draw, and she loved showing him the drawings she could come up with. His love of children is what kept him going here._

_At home, John and his wife; Victoria raised Emily. John was a good father to Emily. He let her do as she pleased, as long as she didn't become a spoiled brat in the process. Victoria wanted Emily to be a little lady, and she was. Emily was obedient to anyone that told her to be. John wasn't home during the week, leaving Victoria and Emily alone at Langdon Manor in Brattleboro. John's family came from the state of Hampshire. His father was governor of the state from 1848-1852. John, the eldest of six children went into psychiatry rather than politics. He seemed to connect with children more so than adults. He wasn't short, but not tall enough to be considered a giant. He was rather skinny for someone of his build. His hair was graying, but not completely there yet. Some would say being a father took its toll on him, but he'd say otherwise._

_Emily's relationship to John was of great importance. He would listen to her if something or someone bothered her. She was his world. Victoria was also like this, but not in the way that she and John shared. Both he and Victoria took pride in loving Emily, even if they adopted her at one month of age. They had been desperately trying to have a baby, luckily Ruth Bukater knew of this and offered Emily to them. They gratefully took Emily into their home and hearts. They did everything together when John wasn't working. They went to the beach on Lake Quannapowwit. Victoria took Emily out for walks through town. The Langdon's were the model family. Their home was the largest in Brattleboro, and was called Langdon Manor. From the outside, the home looked almost like a castle, with its stone façade and paladian windows._

_John would study Emily at home. She felt that she could tell him anything and everything. When she had her worst tantrum in 1905, he was there to witness it. This tantrum wasn't about not getting what she wanted. It simply was about not being able to communicate her needs. That was perhaps Emily's biggest problem. This was the perfect time for him to take more notes. It troubled him to see his daughter in Broadacres, but if she was here he would make sure she was comfortable. There was the problem of telling Victoria that Emily was here in the hospital. He didn't know how she would react. He carefully dialed the numbers and listened to the ringing of the phone on the other end. A woman's voice answered._

"_Langdon Residence, may I ask who is speaking?"_

"_John. I'd like to speak to Victoria."_

"_I'll go get her."_

"_Fine."_

_A few moments passed, when he heard the familiar voice on the other end._

"_What is it John?"_

"_It's Emily. She's here in the hospital."_

"_What do you mean? Did she have another one of her tantrums?"_

"_Yes, but this one was out of Ruth's control. I told Ruth that she did the right thing."_

"_Don't let them hurt my baby girl."_

"_I won't Victoria. I won't let the nurses be rough with her."_

"_Get her something to draw on. I know she loves to draw. I still have the sketch of me that she did last summer."_

"_Are you going to visit her? I think that would cheer her up."_

"_Of course I will visit her. She needs her mother after all."_

_They said goodbye, and John hung up the phone. He sat back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. He turned around to watch the rain fall on the windows. He studied the drops carefully to see if they revealed any patterns. Sadly, he found no such luck. Victoria was on her way to see their daughter. He hoped for the best with Emily. He thought of her outfit when she arrived. It was a simple dark green dress covered by her pea coat. The same coat that he bought for her birthday. He hated to think of them forcing her to remove her dress, only to put on those dingy hospital clothes. Emily wouldn't be used to wearing pants, but the rules were the rules. He even thought about his daughter's corset._

"_They probably took the laces out. She could try to choke herself, but then again Emily wouldn't do that." _John thought to himself. He opened a drawer and slid a folder inside. He thought about when Ruth first came to him in 1883. He didn't diagnose her with anything, but thought her stepmother to be misguided. His thoughts then turned back to Emily. He wrote down in her file the diagnosis he gave her.

"Bipolar Disorder." He said quietly to himself. The evidence was there: the mood swings, her erratic behavior, and countless other things. It tugged at his heart that his daughter could have a mental illness. Surely he had to tell Victoria, but how would she react? Would she reject Emily? No, she couldn't. She had to love her no matter what happened. Victoria made a promise to Emily when they picked her up in Philadelphia to bring her home; _"That no matter what happens, You are mine. I will love you until the day I die." _John and Victoria wanted to fulfill this promise. He still loved her. She undoubtedly would also still love her. John hoped that the diagnosis wouldn't go beyond the hospital, especially not to school; he couldn't bear to think about the teasing Emily would receive if the news had spread.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

AS TOLD BY EMILY

Emily's POV

I sat in the chair next to Mrs. Bukater. I could tell that she didn't want to be in daddy's hospital. She remained stoic as I sat there reading a magazine in the waiting room. Suddenly, I heard a nurse saying that we were to go through the door. We got up and walked down the long corridor to the office at its head. The next thing I know, we're in daddy's office. He sat there in his high backed chair. He spoke to Mrs. Bukater only. I didn't want him to be angry with me. He didn't appear to be angry with me, but I couldn't be sure. He called me "pumpkin", that's his pet name for me. Mama calls me darling, but daddy calls me pumpkin. My dress became uncomfortable as I sat there in the chair facing him. He asked about how Rose and Elizabeth would take this; Mrs. Bukater simply stated that "Rose only knew about this, Elizabeth did not." Poor Elizabeth, if she knew I was here, she'd cry. I hated it whenever she cried. Elizabeth and I were very good friends, even though we're sisters.

A nurse had entered the room, and she was carrying what appeared to be a blue bundle. She explained that these were hospital clothes, and that I wasn't allowed to wear my dress. I got up and walked out with the nurse. We stopped into a small room, where the nurse ordered me to slip my dress over my head; this left me standing in my corset and slip. I had my bloomers on underneath my slip, so I wouldn't be _completely_ nude.

"A polka dot slip, how cute. How old are you?" The nurse asked me. Just because I love polka dots and have under things that contain them, doesn't mean that you should judge me; especially because of my underwear. The next thing I knew, the nurse was unhooking the hook and eye enclosures on my corset. I tried to push her hand away, but she told me to relax. As she took the corset away from me, I thought of Rose. I wondered what she was doing at that very moment. I guessed that she was crying because I wasn't there. How sad would she be!

The nurse handed me a pair of pants. Until this point, I'd never worn pants before in my life. I pulled them up. They seemed so foreign to me, so strange. If only mama could see me. She'd probably feel frightened for me. I wish she were here so she could hug and kiss me, and tell me that it would be okay. Mama was good about things like that; she'd comfort me after I'd have a nightmare, or when Sophia Hobson would torment me. After I slid on my shirt, the nurse walked me to the dayroom where the other girls were. Instantly, I recognized a familiar face;

"Millicent?" It was Millicent King. The very same girl who pushed Rose down that flight of stairs at school. What was she doing here? Did she have the same thing that I had? She asked me how Rose was. I told her Rose was doing fine. She apologized to me for what she had done. I accepted her apology and was sorry that she had to be in the hospital. In a way it made me feel satisfied that she had it coming. I missed Rose terribly. I wished she was with me. I missed mama terribly. Even though Mrs. Bukater is my real mother, I still longed for mama's comforting touch. I sat at one of the tables that was congregated by a group of girls who appeared to be eleven to twelve years old. It's a shame that we must suffer from mental illness of any kind. I cannot control my mood swings, and Mrs. Bukater knows this. I think I frightened her earlier this morning. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to wear the hunter green dress. I wanted to wear something that was blue.

I looked out the window and watched the rain drops fall on the paved area outside. Great big puddles had formed in the low spots. This was all I could do; all I could do from going insane. I do hope Mrs. Bukater had made it back to my grandparents home. I feel sorry for what I did. I truly do believe I frightened her. I do love her. I even call her mommy, but in social situations, I call her Mrs. Bukater. I just hope she will love me in return. I even missed Sadie, the Bukater nanny/governess. I feel like I could tell Sadie anything, she was my confidant. She mainly kept Elizabeth under control, but she helped Rose and I; especially with getting dressed, now that we both have corsets. I wonder what they did with mine; for the nurse told me that the laces could choke me. I hope they didn't throw it away. Mama designed that corset. I received it for my thirteenth birthday, as did Rose.

Suddenly, I saw a familiar face walk through the door; it was daddy. "Come with me." He said. I got up and walked with him into a small office. He had my file out on the desk. I looked nervous, wondering what it was that he was going to tell me. "Emily, you have bipolar disorder." He said to me. My heart sank; why did it have to be me? I cringed and was visibly shaken. I began to cry, my sobs couldn't come fast enough. I just wanted to be alone, and have nobody else bother me. I feel like daddy hurt my feelings, and my rage was burning inside of me.

"You lied to me!" I said to him, becoming angry.

"Emily, you're not yourself. Do I have to get a nurse to take you back to the dayroom?" He said in a serious tone.

"No! I want mama!" I screamed. I truly did want her.

"She's not here Emily. Nurse, come in please."

I saw the nurse come in with a needle. She injected it into my arm. I screamed out in pain, but the pain stopped immediately afterwards.

"You'll feel a little drowsy Emily, but it will wear off in no time." Daddy said.

I felt like I was getting sleepy. The drug was working. The nurse helped me up and walked me out to the day room. I clumsily sat down on one of the wooden chairs and put my head down. I wanted it all to end. This was the price I had to pay for having a mood swing.


	5. Chapter 5

_CHAPTER FIVE_

_RUTH AND VICTORIA_

_Emily's first night at Broadacres was one of terror. Her roommate kept talking in her sleep, and nearly attacked Emily. She held herself, hoping it would all go away. Sadly, this was not the case. She wet her bed in fright. This embarrassed her to no end. She lay there so helpless. Finally morning came, and with it new activity. She picked at her breakfast of oatmeal, and cried silently. Her tears were warm against her skin. How she wanted her mother. She didn't just want her mother, but she needed her. A nurse walked by her and noticed that she was crying._

"_You won't be here forever. It may seem like it, but you won't." The nurse had said. Emily just shook her head in disbelief. For all she knew, she would be here forever. At once she began to question the faith she had in both Ruth and Victoria. She wondered if they truly loved her, and if they did; then why was she here? These things were the most important thoughts of the moment for Emily. She discarded her breakfast, and walked with the rest of the patients back to the day room. The only thing she could do, was just sit there and watch the rest of the patients go about their activities. She got up to ask a nurse for a pencil and a piece of paper. The nurse gave her both paper and pencil, and told her to be careful with it. Immediately she got to work._

_Later that afternoon, it was visiting hours. Emily sat in the day room and waited. It seemed like an eternity, but finally she saw two familiar faces._

"_Mama!" Emily said rather loudly. She walked up to Victoria and hugged her. Victoria just kissed her on the forehead and stroked her hair. Emily felt good, being loved. Even Ruth was there._

"_Emily, I love you. I came as soon as I heard." Victoria purred._

"_How was your first night here Emily?" Ruth asked._

"_My first night was terrible. I was nearly attacked." Emily said in a frightened tone._

"_What! What do you mean you were nearly attacked?" Asked Victoria._

"_My roommate, she was talking in her sleep. She got up and stood beside me. It really frightened me." Emily quietly said. Victoria's face flushed. Her daughter had almost been attacked, and she wasn't there for her._

"_Emily, I'm so sorry." Was all she said. So this was the best she could come up with? The guilt ate her up. Ruth noticed, as did Emily. Ruth wanted to break this odd moment, and she did._

"_Emily, do not let the other patients get to you. You are strong. You are brave. Think of happy times Emily, that will surely help you."_

_Emily immediately replied "I'm not strong. I'm as weak as they are. I'll be here forever anyways. I don't know why you both came. Rose isn't here, there's no point."_

_Ruth simply shook her head. "You must understand that you'll only be here for three to five days. You will not be here forever. You must get this out of your head." Emily looked at her as if she didn't understand._

"_You must understand that my father intends to keep me here, so he can study me." With this, Victoria added to the conversation._

"_Emily Lovejoy Langdon, your father doesn't study you. I talked with him before we came to visit. He's releasing you in two days. I think you can wait for two whole days. Two days doesn't seem too long of a time." Victoria said in a low manner._

"_Mama, if I am to be released in two days will you come visit me? I really wish you would. I miss you." Said Emily. Victoria nodded her head._

"_Of course I'll be here on the day you are released. I wouldn't miss it for the world." Victoria quietly said. Ruth looked annoyed._

"_How come they have such a good relationship? The Victoria I knew in school was far different. She was snobbish and full of herself. I'm glad that it hasn't rubbed off on Emily. Maybe a child is what she needed. Is she pregnant? I noticed a bit of a bulge." _Ruth thought to herself. She had seen herself, that Victoria had come a ways in her maturity; gone were the days of tormenting the teachers and the headmistress. It was moments like this that made Ruth question her own maternal instinct.

"_What if I fail them? What if Rose doesn't turn out to be a good person? What if Elizabeth lands in an institution? Emily must turn out to be a good mother." _Ruth thought to herself again. She surely couldn't fail if she tried hard enough. She would raise her girls to the best of her ability, even if it meant having a little control in their lives. Not a lot of control, but just enough to make Ruth sure that she wouldn't fail. She loved her children, and often praised them for being so. When Emily had arrived in the household in June of 1907, Ruth wasn't sure how she'd act. Emily acted just fine, it was Ruth who worried about it too much. Too much worry, lead to Ruth wearing herself out. She couldn't keep up with her daughter. That was what worried her. She expected Emily to be full of herself, a prig, and quite possibly a brat. To Ruth's surprise, she was none of these things. It relieved her, but at the same time concerned her; for Ruth worried about the outside influences such as school.

"_What if she becomes a brat due to the other girls at school? I wouldn't know what to do then." _Ruth thought. She looked at the clock on the wall and realized visiting hours were over. "Victoria, I do believe we must get going. Visiting hours are over for us, we must let Emily get back to what she was doing. There's a question I'm meaning to ask you. I'll ask when we have left the hospital." Ruth said, not wanting to leave. They got up from their chairs and walked out the door. When Ruth and Victoria had left the building, Ruth pulled Victoria aside and asked the important question; "Victoria, are you pregnant?" Victoria simply nodded her head.

"That's wonderful. Have you told Emily?" Ruth asked.

"No. I'm afraid to." Victoria replied.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

THE NIGHTMARE

On Emily's second night, she had a nightmare. This nightmare was vivid, and unlike any that she had ever had in her life. She walked up to the front door of Langdon Manor, and walked inside. The maids greeted her with "Welcome miss, who are you here to visit?" Emily looked at the maid, stunned by the question. "I'm here to visit mama. I'm her daughter." The maid looked at her and matter-of-factly replied "Mrs. Langdon doesn't have a daughter." Emily simply shrugged it off.

"Of course she has a daughter. I'm her daughter. I have been for thirteen years. Of course she's my mama." Emily said. The maid looked at her glassy eyed and let her go through. She saw Victoria sitting in the parlor reading.

"Hello mama." Emily said. Victoria looked at her and put her hand to her mouth.

"Who are you? Who let you in this house?" She asked.

"It's me, Emily. I'm your daughter. I've been your daughter for thirteen years. I'd think you'd recognize me." Emily said, extending her arms out to hug Victoria. Victoria tried to get away from Emily as she tried to hug her.

"Are you crazy? My husband is a children's psychiatrist. I think he can help you. Don't touch me. Just get away from me!" Victoria said coldly.

"But mama, I want you to love me. Am I worth loving? Am I not a human being? Am I incapable of being loved?" Emily asked, tears forming in her eyes. Victoria sat up straight like an arrow and formed a reply.

"Emily, or whatever your name is; go to your parents and find love there. I'm sure they love you. Why you decided to come into my house is beyond me. Do I have to call the police? Do they have to come remove you from the premises?" Victoria said as she put the book down.

"Don't you see? I'm your daughter. All I want is your love." Emily said, choking back a sob. She walked out of the parlor and upstairs. She had to see her room. When she arrived at the top of the stairs, Emily saw Victoria sitting on the four poster bed.

"This is my room mama, what are you doing here?" Emily asked timidly.

"I am not your 'mama'. I seriously think I should call the police. You are nothing but a nuisance and a pest." Said Victoria sternly.

"Let me sit on my bed. Let me feel my quilt. Let me see my dolls." Emily said with urgency. Victoria backed off.

"This is Rachel's room. She ran away some time ago. Everything is still in its place, waiting for her return." Victoria uttered.

"Rachel? Who's Rachel? I'm your daughter! I don't know who Rachel is!." Emily said, her voice rising.

"Why Rachel is our daughter. We eagerly await her return, so that she can become the model young lady. It was a shame what happened to her. We were preparing for tea, when her nanny entered my room stating that she was missing. We sent out search parties, but they came back empty handed. Do YOU know where Rachel is?" Said Victoria coolly.

"Is this all some sort of game to you? Who do you think I am? I'm not a stranger, but I am your DAUGHTER! I'm not Rachel or anyone else. I'm Emily Lovejoy Langdon. You've taken care of me when I was sick. You protected me from Sophia Hobson, you came to me when I've had nightmares, and you've taken me on walks through town. All I want is for you to say I'm your daughter. I want you to be my mama. You've always been my mama. Why can't you love me?" Emily said in hysterics.

"Emily, I'm one of the strictest people in Brattleboro. Rachel wasn't allowed to have many friends. I wouldn't allow it. Friends could distract her from being a perfect little girl. Friends could only hurt her. Friends could damage her." Victoria purred.

"But you let me have friends. You love Effie and May. You love me for who I am. You recognize my faults. You're not that strict. You protect me when I have my tantrums, and you assure me that it will all be alright. Tell me you can't remember?" Emily said after she calmed down.

"All Rachel wanted is for me to love her, every time her father would come home; she'd run to him. He'd spoil her. I deemed his excessive spoiling to damage her. A young lady must never be spoiled by her father." Victoria said.

"You're so full of yourself. My mama, she's never full of herself. She loves me with all of her heart. I can run to her to whenever I feel bad. If only you'd let me do that now, because I'm your daughter." Emily said, standing up to Victoria. Emily decided that she should run back downstairs to demonstrate how lax the real Victoria was.

"Watch me run! See how I run!" Emily shouted. Victoria put her hand on her mouth and yelled;

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare run in my house!"

It was too late, Emily was already at the bottom of the stairs. She called out;

"Would you let your Rachel do this?" said Emily as she knocked over a vase.

"No! Do you have any idea on how old that vase is?" Victoria shouted. Suddenly, Victoria was standing next to Emily.

"Look at this dress! It's horrible." Victoria said as she gripped Emily by the shoulders and started ripping.

"Why are you stripping me? Stop it! You'll expose my under things! You hate it when I'm just in my under things. You really do." Emily whimpered.

"I don't care." Victoria said as she took out a letter opener. Gracefully, she slid it into Emily's stomach, causing her to collapse.

"No mama! Why did you do that? I'm only thirteen, too young to die!" Said Emily, writhing in pain.

"You're never too young to die intruder. No one will even miss you"

"Mama, no!"

Suddenly, Emily awoke to a dark room. Her roommate was placidly breathing in the next bed. Tears were flowing down her cheeks. She let out a strangled cry. Her crying got the attention of the nurse who was assigned to check on her. The nurse calmed her down by administering a sedative. The sedative worked, and soon Emily was asleep again. This time around, the dream was a happy one, where she and Victoria went to the beach.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

ROSE

When the day dawned, Emily was fully awake. Her nightmare the previous night unsettled her. She felt her bed to make sure it was still dry; it was. She wished that she was at home in Brattleboro in her massive four post bed under her quilt. How she longed to be there instead of here at Broadacres Children's Psychiatric Institute. Breakfast consisted of French toast. To Emily, it tasted just like home. She quickly ate her breakfast and went to the day room. Once inside, she sat down in a wooden chair. A nurse came into the room announcing that it was group time. Emily didn't want to go to group, she'd rather sit in her chair. The nurse walked over to her and told her to get up. Emily did as she was told and walked into the group room. Millicent was in there, as were the other patients.

"This morning's topic is regret and how we live with it." The therapist said. The therapist went around the room asking the patients about their biggest regrets. She finally got to Millicent.

"Millicent, what is perhaps your biggest regret?" The therapist asked. She was expecting the typical answer such as "Oh, I ate too many sweets." No, Millicent's answer shocked everyone in the room.

"Perhaps my biggest regret is pushing a person named Rose Bukater down the stairs at school. I got into heaps of trouble. I'm sorry Emily for what I did. I didn't mean to hurt Rose. I know you're sisters, and what I said to you was very mean of me. I didn't want to hurt either of you. Now I know what being hurt feels like. I ached over it for days, and when they arrested me; I didn't know what to do."

Emily looked at Millicent in the eye and spoke.

"I accept your apology Millicent. I'm sure Rose would as well."

Group time was over and the patients got up out of their seats. As they filed out of the room, Emily looked for any visitors. She was in luck. Victoria and Ruth were there. She desperately looked for Rose. Her heart sank when she saw Rose wasn't with them. Emily sat at the table with a sullen look on her face.

"Hello mama. Hello Mrs. Bukater." Emily said.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Victoria replied.

"Rose isn't here. I also had a nightmare last night." Emily sullenly said.

"What was in this nightmare Emily?" Victoria asked, curious as to what her daughter would tell her.

"I walked into our house and no one knew who I was. You didn't even know who I was. You said something about a girl named Rachel who was your daughter, and that she ran away. You ended up cornering me and stripping me down to my under things, and then stabbed me with a letter opener. It was horrible." Emily said quietly.

"You know I would never do that to you. I would never let anything like that happen to you at all Emily." Victoria soothed. Ruth decided to break into the conversation.

"Emily, we brought someone special with us. She's over there." She pointed with her eyes.

It was Rose. Rose was here after all.

"Rose!" Emily said in delight. She got up and walked over to Rose, hugging her.

"I've missed you so much Rose, you have no idea." Emily continued.

"Emily, I know you've missed me. I miss you too." Rose countered.

Emily felt better now that Rose was here. Rose sat at the table next to Ruth and Victoria. Emily took her place again.

"Emily, you get out tomorrow. Until then, there is something I need to tell you. It is very important." Victoria said.

"What is it mama?" Emily asked curiously.

"Emily, you're going to have either a brother or sister. I'm pregnant." Victoria said quietly. This excited Emily.

"Oh mama, that's wonderful. I've always wanted a brother, I've got two sisters." Emily said happily. A nurse walked by to make sure everything was all right. The nurse walked off and Rose spoke up.

"Emily, grandmother is very sorry for what she said. She didn't mean for it to get out of hand like it did. You know how she can be. She's English. They always have to be right about everything, even when they're wrong. Can you forgive her?" said Rose.

"Of course I forgive her. Do you know who else is in this hospital?" Emily asked.

"No." Said Rose.

"Millicent King. She's here. She has had no visitors. She apologized for what she had done in group this morning. I accepted the apology."

"She's here? Why in god's name is she here? What did she do to get put in here?" Rose asked.

"I don't know why she's here, but she regrets what she's done. She didn't mean to hurt you or me. I think she's bipolar, like me." Emily said.

"You're bipolar? How? I guess the mood swings answer that question. Does it hurt?" Rose asked.

"No, being bipolar doesn't hurt. I just think differently, that's all. Being bipolar doesn't hurt one bit. I still don't know how they're going to react at school." Emily uttered.

"No one except Miss Allen needs to know, after all isn't she the one you see for your medication?" Rose asked.

"Yes, she's the only one that knows. None of the other girls know, or need to know." Emily said.

"Are you happy that you're getting out tomorrow?" Rose asked again.

"Yes. I'm more than happy. I'm excited." Emily said. Rose looked down at the table and saw a piece of paper with a drawing on it.

"Is this me?" Rose asked.

"Yes. It's you. I drew it yesterday, hoping I would see you again." Emily purred.

"Emily, I just want to tell you to never give up. Even when life doesn't go your way. Never give up. Giving up is here in the hospital. You've got to fight it every step of the way. I don't take giving up. If you give up, then you're lost." Rose urgently said.

Visiting hours were once again over for the day. Emily finally got to see Rose. The three of them got up from their chairs. Ruth and Victoria kissed Emily on the forehead, and Rose gave Emily a hug. They left, leaving Emily alone. Dinner that night consisted of roast beef with mashed potatoes. Emily ate it with much gusto. Emily was going home soon.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

COMING HOME

Emily was happy and content. Today was the day she was going home. She looked back at her room and was not sad to see it go. She rapidly ate her breakfast that morning, and gathered whatever she had. A nurse came to speak to Emily.

"You are to get changed back into the dress you arrived in. If you were wearing a corset, you will receive help in putting it back on." She said. Emily smiled and walked into a small room. She was given privacy to put her slip and dress back on. As she let the polka dot slip fall over her head she sighed.

"_It's time to let me go home. I'm sick of this place." _Emily thought. She grabbed the corset and fastened the hook and eye enclosures. The corset fit rather snug; she'd gained weight in the three days she'd been there. As she slipped the dress over her head, she wondered about Millicent.

"_What's going to happen to Millicent? Surely her parents care for her deeply. They must. I think this is punishment enough for her." _Emily thought to herself. She finished dressing. All that was left was her navy blue pea coat. She put it on and walked out of the room. The nurse quickly came by her side. They walked down the corridor and out into the waiting room where Victoria and Ruth were standing.

"Hello Emily." Victoria said, with happiness in her voice. Emily reached out and hugged her. Victoria kissed Emily on the forehead and held her hand. They walked out of the hospital into the rain.

"Mama, are you really pregnant?" Emily asked, the innocence in her voice. Victoria knelt down to Emily's level and put a hand on her cheek.

"Yes."

"Does this mean I won't get to come visit ever again?" Emily asked, blushing.

"No, of course not. You'll always have a place at Langdon Manor dear." She kissed Emily again.

Ruth looked at the two. _"Why can't I be like her? She was never like this, especially in school. She was so vain. She came to me that one day, looking to be my friend. I accepted her friendship, as we both hated the headmistress. What changed her view on things? Was it Emily?"_ Ruth thought to herself. She turned away from them leaving herself to her own thoughts.

"Oh mama, I'm glad you could be with me today. I'm so happy to be released from that prison they call a hospital." Emily said.

"I'm happy for you Emmy. Mrs. Bukater is happy for you too. It pained her that you were in there. It really did." Victoria said. The walked into an alcove, away from Ruth.

"Mama, Mrs. Bukater doesn't love me like you do."

"What do you mean Emmy?"

"She doesn't know how to act around me. I think she's scared of me."

"Don't say that. She loves you in her own special way. The letters I receive from her say that she's proud of you and loves you very much. You were very brave when Rose was in the hospital last December. She's your true mother Emmy. Don't ever forget that. A mother's love is different from any other kind of love." Victoria said in a loving voice.

"I just wish I could go back to Vermont with you. I miss home." Emily said.

"During the Christmas holidays Emily. I want you to come home for Christmas, like you did last year. I will pay for the tickets." Victoria said as they stepped out of the alcove. Ruth walked over to them.

"Let's get something to eat. I'm sure Emily will welcome the real food." Ruth said as they waited for the train to take them across the river. The train came and they boarded it. Once inside, they found their seats and sat down. The trip over the river and into Gregstown was quick. Gregstown is where the DeWitt family called home since Ruth was ten years old in 1880. They got off in the central part of the city and found a small café. They were seated and they ordered their meal. Ruth struck up a conversation with Emily.

"Emily, if you're going to have a mood swing, tell me about it. I want to help you, I don't want to hurt you." Ruth said.

"The problem is, I don't know when they're going to happen. You should do what mama does." Emily replied.

"What does she do Emily?" Ruth asked.

"She 'holds' me close and whispers into my ear." Emily said.

"She's a strong woman, your mother. She loves you with all of her heart." Ruth replied.

"Indeed she is Mrs. Bukater. I love her with all of my heart too." Emily said.

"It takes a special kind of person to say that. You're so innocent Emily. She raised you right. You're a flower that can stand up to anything. You're not delicate." Ruth kindly said.

"I know I'm not delicate. I'm someone to watch out for." Emily said, assuring herself.

"I know Emily." Ruth stated. Their meals came and Emily ate like she was hungry. Ruth didn't shoot her a disapproving look. She knew Emily hadn't eaten real food in three days, no she let it pass. Ruth and Victoria ate their meals casually. Ruth decided to speak to Victoria.

"Thank you for coming to visit Emily. I knew I couldn't do it alone." Ruth said.

"John alerted me to Emily's situation. I knew that she would want me, so I came." Victoria purred.

"When do you plan on going back to Brattleboro?" Ruth asked.

"Tomorrow. I'll make the drive back. It's going to be a long drive back, but I can handle it. I can handle anything." Victoria replied.

"That's the Victoria I know." Ruth said.

"Remember our days at the Brattleboro School? We disliked those girls from Mount Tabor, well except a few. Your sister was one of the few that we actually liked." Victoria asked.

"How could I forget? My husband's sister was the other one. She had this air about her that made any situation lax." Ruth said, finishing her meal. After paying for their meals, the three of them got up from the table and walked out of the café. The rain kept falling. It was time for Victoria to say goodbye to her daughter. She knelt down to Emily's level.

"I guess it's time to say goodbye darling." Victoria said.

"But I don't want you to go. I'll miss you." Emily replied, her eyes becoming wet.

"There's no time for tears Emmy. You're going to do well this term. I know you will. You did so well last term." She said giving Emily a kiss on the forehead.

"I just wish I could go back home with you. I miss it terribly." Said Emily.

"I know you do Emmy, but think this Christmas I'll get to see you again."

"I can't wait until then. I'll think about you every day. I love you mama." Emily said. Victoria got back up, and turned away to go back to her hotel. Ruth and Emily hailed a cab and took it back to the DeWitt house. They walked up the front steps and into the house. Rose was there to greet Emily with a hug. "You must be tired from the hospital. Why don't you sit down?" Rose asked. Emily sat. Emily was out of the hospital now, and she was glad.

THE END

**Authors Note: I'd like to thank Rachedaninja for reviewing my story. She's the reason I kept this story going.**


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